Fibromyalgia. There. I've said it. The invisible illness. The one that has taken over my life and seemingly changed it forever.
When I see it typed like this "changed it forever", it seems daunting and at times overwhelming. I've worked in the medical field since I was 17 years old. Not as a nurse, (even though in grade 12 I worked as a nurse's aide, in the days before you needed a course to teach you common sense care of the elderly), I've worked as an MOA otherwise known as a medical office assistant.
Now admittedly it took me years to grow into a compassionate person for these "invisible illnesses". Depression? Come on, get over it, just get your lazy butt out of bed and like the Nike ad says, "Just Do It". Anything that wasn't visible, or I thought was something trivial, I could not empathize with. Shame on me that it took me so long to learn to apply to my life, something that I had been taught all of my life!
Thirty-some years later I have to admit my views on this have changed. No, not because of my own illness, but because of a certain group of doctors that I worked with for 15 years and the compassion they showed to patients. (Ironically, this is also when my disease first presented itself, although it wasn't well known by its present name). Many doctors still don't believe in this diagnosis, I can only thank God that my last employer did, and recommended a new doctor that was coming to Vancouver to set up a Complex Care Chronic Pain Clinic. Quite a mouthful.
There are a number of Fibromyalgia groups that I follow on Facebook. Basically they're places that people can come and vent, or encourage, or simply get information from. I usually just read, not posting very often, unless it's someone asking for prayer. Then I'll pray right there and then, typing my prayer for them. How many times have you seen someone post, "keeping you in our thoughts and prayers"? I have been guilty of that myself, so I just stop and pray now, right there and then. But I digress.
The reason I bring this up is because this last year has been a real humbling time for me. A time to admit I cannot do it on my own, and that Christ has been there waiting for me to ask Him for His help all the time.
I don't know why He has allowed this disease to afflict me. Maybe to make me not so proud? To rely on Him more than myself? To appreciate what I have more? I'm really not sure. I only know that it has certainly done all of those things and more.
I know when I'm at my worst, He is there for me, but not only that, He has provided people in my life to be there for me as well when I need them most.
The Bible tells us , "In everything give thanks". Ephesians 5:20. EVERYTHING. NO EXCEPTIONS. That's a big pill to swallow. Sometimes that pill still gets stuck in my throat, more often than I would like to admit. But for now. I'm learning, learning to be humble, learning to accept past mistakes but most of all learning to go to the source of my strength, my Invisible, Living, Dwelling in my heart strength.
Anyways, Thank You Lord for who You are, and for this new me.
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